Monday, 2 September 2013

Skinny Tea Myth Busting

There is this all natural diet tea, some folk have lost up to 20kgs on it. Together with drastic weight loss there were epic side effects reported and a case of hospitalisation. Skinny Me Teas ''colon cleanse'' product, contains the laxative senna. In case you’re wondering I did not review the product. I take a lot of requests from readers but I will not spend more time on the dunny than I have to naturally. If you're not constipated and take laxatives, together with your ring hole you will loose electrolytes, fluid, other essential nutrients plus the food you just ate. 





**Ring ring** "Errmaaargerd Becky I just blew the bowl out again and the scales are down this product really works! I also blew a hole in my pantyhose and undies and the dry cleaners refused to clean my skirt but it really works! Oops gotta run that way again, doll ciao ! "

 


No you imbecile. You lost fluid and emptied your intestines which equals weight, unless you plan on never eating again the next morsel you put in your gob will be flippin you the bird from the monitor on your scale. You did absolutely sweet FA to your body fat and are busting your metabolic capacity, slap yourself in the forehead immediately for being a complete and utter sucker. Many moons ago I used laxatives. Upon the advice of a slightly older, thinner friend of mine who was far more advanced in the world of purging and eating disorders than I ever would be. She must've been onto something. At a young impressionable age even those who may turn out to be very health conscious can be mislead down the wrong path. Yes I slapped my forehead just now.

 
  
 

Instagram actually deactivated SkinnyMeTea's account saying "Instagram is a place where people can share their lives with others through photographs, it does not condone the promotion or glorification of self-harm." The scary part is they had over 200K followers without the obligatory boobs, ass, and duck lip photos. My guess is their 'before and after' Images were categorised as 'glorification of self harm'. 


Read more on here http://www.urbansociety.com.au/news-feed/skinnymetea-shut-down-by-instagram/#.UiQ_w9I3AsI

 
The chief executive of eating disorder support group the Butterfly Foundation, Christine Morgan, said she was ''horrified'' by the program and the companies ''blatant disregard'' for the minds of young people. ''It's buying into this negative body image, which is a scourge amongst young people … that they won't be worthwhile or successful if they are not this idealised 'thin' body shape,'' Ms Morgan said. Jessica Maclennan, 19, bought the tea after seeing the extreme before and after photos online and lasted six days on the program before having to stop. Only six days on the shitta darl? Gees you did alright if you ask me. We are constantly living and creating ideals that everybody struggles to obtain, that no one can actually become as far as physical appearance and definitions of beauty and valour, they’re all illusions.  
 


Jennifer Lawrence's magazine cover - I'd take the untouched her (left) any day

 
 
The Australian online company formed last year says it promotes "positive body image amongst people of all ages, shapes and sizes". Stop. Right. There. Who decides what is considered positive body image? What is positive to me may not be to you and vice versa. To me, Annie Thorisdottir promotes positive body image, work horse, lives and breathes her sport, eats a typical balanced diet,  no particular regime, has tried paleo which did not give her enough energy to perform. Humble, works hard, loves her family, educates others, that to me is positive. And I am not a biased crossfitter, I'm not even a crossfitter. These tea suckers probably would not view Annie that way, enter ye old stereotype of muscular women. Am I stereotyping the tea suckers? Perhaps. I used to be one of them, uneducated, unaware sheep,  not concerned what long term damage I was doing to my body for short term gain for a formal or a dancing concert.


Oh Annie

Enter the realm of dancers, there is a huge emphasis on being very lean and maintaining a high work schedule. I have vivid memory of  studying for my dance exams, performing the jeté round and round and round the studio with the principal of the dance school stalking behind spanking my panty hosed behind with a ruler. Each leap that was not technically sound equalled a sharp whack in precisely the same spot. If an unlucky angle her metal section would knick. Was it necessary discipline in my craft? Perhaps. Would I have passed my exams without physical abuse? I don't know I'm not Marty Mc Fly. Mother, it will be easier if you don't resist when Department of Children's Services arrive.  
 

 

This is hilarious!
Scary Movie 5 [Movie Scene] Black Swan


 
If you take one thing from this post it's this. Next time you hear anyone bragging about sudden weight loss through some fad diet, pill, tea, magical hubbly bubbly not only do you owe it to yourself if you have a fully functioning prefrontal cortex, to ask more questions, you owe it to your children and your childrens children! We are the revolution people! Be sceptical, don't be a moron, open pandoras box. How much weight was lost? Using what method? Is it a lifestyle change or a diet? Have the subjects kept the weight off? Do they have enough control over their bowells to be in public, nappie free? You might find the same sheep are unrealistically wanting to drop dress sizes before an event in 1 weeks time. If you have not already made changes to your body good luck. You cannot treat your rig like a math assignment and cram a few days before the test to maybe fluke a pass mark. Your body composition will be the same after 1 week of toilet violation, lemon shitox diet, whatever the hell is on the market. Collectively if we start challenging this nonsense, society as a whole might be one iota more informed than what it is now. The tea sucker might think twice before bragging to Becky, realise others actually care about their bodies and in comparison to them she is literally a shitty human being. If you have high school aged children and you haven't already had a discussion about laxatives and understanding the measures some young girls are using to drop weight, please have it around your families dinner table tonight. Well perhaps after you've enjoyed your meal.
 

 


Lastly thanks for reading my bloggious maximus and the crap load of positive feedback sent on my last post. I am thoroughly enjoying writing, it's proving almost therapeutic sharing a snippet of the weird and wonderful things that have happened in my life.   

Tuesday, 20 August 2013

Females and the Steroids Taboo

Recently I was asked if I thought Michelle Bridges was on the gear - steroids, artificial enhancers, peptides, whatever- because of her square jaw. Far out it’s a tough crowd! Don’t wig out but here’s an idea, perhaps she has put in consistent hard work for years to look the way she does, square jaw and all.


 Crossfit kicker of ass and my girl crush
Annie Thorrisdottir

I have a decent sized gob which is habitually filled with food. What's more I get a great sense of accomplishment moving heavy iron objects repeatedly, along with other demanding activities I am vigorous 6 days a week, some days twice. Together with consistent hard work and a splash of dads genetics I can get pretty jacked. I've been strength training on and off for 7 years, aside from a short stint posing as a house wife (falling in love is not recommended, be selfish in your quest or partner with one who propels you to greatness). Prior to that as a teenager I was not so muscular. I actually wanted to be thin, model like thin, scary thin. I wanted to be what society shoved in my face via gossip magazines and celebrities. At that time in my life I was unmistakably delusional but don’t fret! I came to my senses.

 
 Childhood consistency, flexing calves on ballet point creates thickness 
 
 
To the masses - wake up and smell the coffee.... lifting weights does not equal a bulky/man like physique! Your body responds to lifting by breaking down your muscle tissue and building you back up leaner and stronger. Lifting gives your body definition, tone and lowers body fat. Pretty certain that’s every normal females goal, ever.  Now listen carefully to my revelation; if I reduce my fat burning efforts through injury or otherwise and maintain my diet my ‘bulkiness’ increases. The level of fat on top of my existing muscle expands if I don’t burn it off. That ladies and gentleman is what can create my bulk. Don’t say I never teach you anything. As I sit here and blog it literally brings a smile to my face to think about waking at 4.15am tomorrow and front/ back squatting some heavy ass weight. In my current program no bulgarian split lunges, no glute bridges or kickbacks, no holding in farts to create my ass. MOAR SQUATZ. Look how much fun we have lifting!


 


 


 Photoshopped or artificial on the left? Stereotyping yet...


Stereotypes are a sad part of life. I try not to use them but unfortunately it still happens. Hell there are odd occasions when I've caught a glimpse of myself mid set and thought – you are jacked as a MF! I often say ‘I just want to tone my arms’. That's a lie. I have never said that. My body is a by product of the way I train, I don’t train to create a particular physique. Alas no, I have never taken anabolic (banned substances) supplementation, nor will I ever. Anyone who knows me knows I would never put that shit in my body, ever, and my test results would prove that. The basis of the organisation I founded would be fraudulent. I advocate to thousands of people to lead an active healthy lifestyle eating as much pure food from the earth as you can – this would all become null and void. I would lose sponsorships. Professional athletes and their associated clubs would no longer work with my organisation. I would be the worlds biggest hypocrite! You get the point, I have far too much at stake and too many brain cells to do something so dumb. My brother Aaron is a natural bodybuilder (let’s save the associations definition of ‘natural’ bodybuilding for another blog) and powerlifter. Has he ever taken steroids or similar banned substances? No. Will he ever? I’d like to say a firm no. If he did I would beat the foolery out of him (at least attempt to, he’s much bigger & stronger than me). The ethics of his programming business ‘Natural Physique Sciences’ would be compromised, and his belief system would be an absolute joke.
 

 


 Traps how I roll


My brother and I share many things in common, one is being stereotyped into using banned substances. This one always makes me laugh, I used to get offended but no longer waste my energy on peoples ignorance. In the world we live in, we can not control how people treat us, only how we let their treatment affect us. Marianne Williamson said it beautifully ‘There is a feeling of inner peace that comes from total relinquishment of judgment. We don’t feel the need to change others and we don’t feel the need to be different than we are. We can see, for whatever reason, the total beauty of another person, and we feel that they can see the beauty in us as well’ oh hold up, she screwed the end part up. Aaron and I also share a high level of commitment and our work ethic is unsurpassed. This is why we look the way we do. This is why we succeed in reaching our goals in training and in life. Sadly for him he got mums legs, sorry pal. Do I know others who use steroids? Sure, anyone who mixes in my circles is bound to meet those types. Surely you’ve seen the PPP (puffy pimply patrol) in the gym who balloon rather suddenly. Other side effects include seasonal and erratic gym attendance with copious amounts of mirror watching. I wholeheartedly disagree with what they’re doing but who the hell am I to judge their choices and what they put into their bodies. Surely they’re not out for my approval (as I am not theirs) what they do has sweet FA to do with me. I don’t treat them any differently, they might be using to mask another whole realm of self confidence issues, who knows. My conclusion? The idea of getting big artificially, then stopping to somewhat lose those gains, seems like a vicious cycle. Don’t cut corners, gear your lifestyle toward getting big and strong and you will.

 
Did the streaker have a good pre season leading up to origin debut?


Late in 2012 I had various surgeries, some planned others not. Breast augmentation, double groin hernia, melanoma removed from leg, lymph nodes removed from groin blah blah blah you get it, I was all banged up. Couldn’t laugh let alone think about exercise. Mentally I handled that 3 month period of complete inactivity surprisingly well. It was only when I stepped back in the gym and saw the gains I’d lost it hit me like a tonne of bricks. I remember one of my first sessions back exploding into a sprint and a. not having the knee drive to propel forward b. shuffling to almost trip over my own two feet and c. being as uncoordinated as a baby giraffe. Sure I had a strong, thick looking pair of trunks but I was learning to walk again.

 
My first outing after surgery (don't mind Aaron, his prep wasn't the greatest)
 
My first public outing was to watch the kid bro compete. I’d shuffled my way into the auditorium of Castle Hill RSL on the arm of my Dad with a forcefield of bodies moving with us shielding my fresh wounds from being knocked. After what felt like a lifetime squeezing through crowds of hundreds of screaming people we get to our seats and there’s people sitting in them. Normal circumstances you respectfully show your tickets ask them to move and they do. But these young girls don’ t want to move and decide to give my mum some lip. My mum Gail is one classy lady. She doesn’t swear nor does she accept cursing around her, she's a bit stiff but I respect her for maintaining a standard and I refrain from swearing around her. She watches me play sport, while I'm trash talking on the field she calmly takes notes of every curse word from the sideline. Queen Beast the fearless warrior on the field gets the biggest hiding after the game from her mum. I digress! While in my head I’m giving the people in our seats ‘The Rock (move the hell on) Eye’ in reality I’m exhausted, dizzy, heating up and feel like I could cry and/ or pass out any second. Moral of the story do not attempt a bodybuilding comp within a week of surgery. The combo of stank broccoli farts, rank slap on tan and not being able to stick up for my mum meant it was a shitty, shitty day.
 

 
 
Cutting a long story medium, thanks to effective muscle memory by body transforms after rest periods quite well. After lifting consistently I made some incredible gains in only 6 weeks. It’s time like these a coach is separated from a trainer. I needed a stable supportive base to have a decent comeback. A number of my coaches label me ‘the perfectionist’ athlete. Positives? An incredibly strong work ethic, highly motivated, committed to my goals and want nothing more than to learn and improve. Negatives? Criticize myself for mistakes, hold extremely high demands on my performance, get frustrated easily after making mistakes and even after a successful result can analyse with negative self assessment. I had surgery complications throughout rehab and was riddled with condition after condition preventing me from an ideal full recovery. When it would be easy to give up one must power on. Victory is achieved through adversity, resilience creates champions not a perfect ride. It irks me when people get all down and out ‘I've torn a hammy I'm out for 6 weeks I'm so pissed off I can’t train’ go deal with it! Take your tales of woe to someone who cares, you still have 2 arms and legs quit complaining.
 
  
 

Tuesday, 16 July 2013

Resisting the Mini Bar while Travelling

It’s been a demanding few weeks slaying dragons. When on my way home from a trip I thought it best to share some handy travel tips.

Not deviating from your nutrition and exercise routine is hard enough on an ordinary day for some. Enter the ultimate malevolence, air travel and hotel rooms and you have enough despicable elements to derail your hard work. We prepare by packing our shoes, clothes, underwear and reading material why is nutrition forgotten?
 
If you plan in advance you don’t need to sell your soul to the mini bar devil himself! The good news is that a rough spot doesn’t have to derail all your efforts to stay on track with your health & training goals. When my hotel is being booked for me I have one request - a gym. Your runners also double as pretty neat protective housing for snacks in your bag. You take your food wrapped yeah? So quit thinkin about shoes and food and STAY FOCUSED!

My aims when travelling are be prepared, for when you’re ahh not prepared duh.  It’s not rocket science, it’s not even religion studies actually but it’s amazing how many humans just don’t do it. I always try to have food on hand for meal times, also snacks in case I'm craving. That way I don’t have to rely on will power as much, I have free passes through each gate. I am absolutely frothing over these new raw bars from Freshness Fine Foods. When you open the packet, each slab is positioned against cardboard backing, once you peel away from backing the bar is a chewy flexible mass. The way real food is when its blended with other wholesome natural ingredients! I buy mine from Macro Wholefoods in Dank Street – look how cheap they are, perfect for those ‘unprepared’ moments.
 




http://www.freshness.com.au/bars.php
 


Major rule - don’t hit that mini bar – instead of just one fruit and nut bar disappearing it will be the whole god damn contents of the fridge. In the morning when checking out of your room the youngest, most inexperienced concierge makes a beeline to serve you. The words ‘trainee’ emblazoned on their name badge screams with the attention of vivid red light district fluros. Instead of discreetly offering an itemised list to check off the previous nights sins, the trainee, with the volume of a foghorn invites you to be the lead role in the broadway show ‘Concierge Confessions - Last Night’s Indiscretions’. Together with battling grim memory demons now the public speaking demon whispers satanically, the foyer turns opportunely noiseless, the stage is now yours to perish upon. For the record this is hypothetical, it’s never happened to me. Ever.

This past Sunday afternoon I was at ANZ stadium proudly watching the Bulldogs whitewash the Sea Eagles. I’d been training since 10am, showered at practice and went straight to the game. Chatting in Star City’s corporate box with my manager and injured Frank Pritchard we are offered meat pies. Hello enticement, we meet again. I politely declined the dutiful waiter not before receiving witty jabs from the boys about having ‘just one’. Does the consumer of pies feel less guilty if the health nut agrees to one? Is the consumer of pies merely upholding Aussie tradition of mockery amongst friends? Most likely the latter.  The boys had more pies on demand, edible and piping fresh direct from the chefs private kitchen out back. This was no mass serving tray strewn with remnants of party pies turning stone hard and frosty. Medium sized meat pies on an individual plate just for you. Was the chef out back kneading his own pastry or what? Does pastry even get kneaded? Damn, these puppies smelt like the business!
 

The ex Coca Cola Employee is not pictured here!

That morning whilst packing for the days outings I had two choices.

1.       Roll out empty handed, rely on willpower and the best of intentions to get through the day eating clean

2.       Whip up Raw Monkey Choc Protein Smoothie (below) jammed with loads of ice to keep cold, pack  BREAKFAST BALLS (recipe) baggie of mixed raw activated nuts, nashi pear, mandarin & apple
 





 






Breakfast Ball mix pre mould

 
The reality is I’m not a superhero, I have just as much on my agenda as the next person. I chose option 2, even smart people make bad decisions when they’re rushed.
 
I digress, back to the corporate box. I whip out my breakfast balls and begin to unwrap, the boys and waiters intently wondering what monstrosity could arise from the foil. I break open one of the little pearlers, revealing a slight tinge of green from spirulina which poses questions about ingredients. One of the lovely waitress’s wasn’t even sure what spirulina was. If I hadn’t been training all day and was ready to knaw my own wrist off perhaps I would have offered them a taste. Actually nah they were fine with their pies. What I am conscious of is not being that ‘health nut’ that looks down on others for eating their pies – tuck in champ, go for your life! I would only pipe up if over several meetings you smashed numerous pies then whinged about being a slob. I’d also strongly disagree if you told me Coca Cola is wait for it - healthy to drink every now and then because of it’s ‘cleansing properties’. Cleansing like Ajax on the floor, like Exit Mould on tile grate. The same person went on to tell me he used to be an employee of Coca Cola for many years. In the factory they kept a huge waste bin where damaged products unable to be sold were discarded. When the bin was emptied they discovered Coca Cola had CORRODED A HOLE IN THE EARTH! Over the course of a month fluid had leaked eating through the base of the bin and rotting a ditch in the asphalt! This persons profile will remain anonymous, perhaps the consumption of the beverage has impeded his brain function over the years. Nice bloke though, I ain’t judging each to their own. You do your thing I’ll do mine.


Perhaps if the night previous I hadn’t been at a Christmas in July party and eaten my far share of impure goodies I would have indulged in a pie. My life is relatively structured yes, but every now and then I free myself from the pressure to stay perfectly on track which I think helps in my long term goals. But the free reigns gates don’t stay open for longer than necessary.

Jennifer Thompson  Detox Expert, Health Coach and Iridologist put it well- ‘We have to look at the body as a whole, not just focus on one food, one additive, one organ or one symptom.’ This great quote guides each 24 hours I am alive and well.
 
Be well too!  Au revoir.

Tuesday, 2 July 2013

A day in my guts

This may appear to fast be becoming a food blog. GOD PLEASE NO I'm a unicorn DO NOT let it become a food blog. You have my scouts honour it won’t. Tomorrow we're slaying dragons, it will be fun, stay tuned.

 
The question I get asked by so many - what goes in my guts.
 
I was somewhat unprepared this week, normally I have other food prepped but working an 80 hour week things have crept up on me. It was a) have ideal nutritional prep and go to work nude with one eye open this week OR b) do washing, get some relatively minor shut eye and still have an acceptable plan for the week. Unfortunately after checking with my boss, he would not appreciate me arriving in my birthday suit. In an ideal world tilting slightly less fruit in favour of green veg, a touch more protein I'd be chuffed. but I'm not losing sleep over it. I could have waited, presented another day with a more complete profile but every day is not perfect, anyone who tells me theirs is is a liar, or a bodybuilder. I also drank several cups of herbal tea – check your ‘herbal’ collections ingredients if they have artificial flavours – toss em.

 
This Garden of Life Raw Protein formula provides the complete suite of essential amino acids from a variety of plants so this baby is up the top of the food chain with the quality of animal protein sources. And when the label reads 'organic, gluten free, dairy free, lactose free, no fillers, no synthetic nutrients, no artificial flavours or preservatives' seriously it’s like the heavenly choir opens up , a god like experience YES there is still good in the world you just have to open both eyes and walk a few short steps further to source it. USDA certified organic approved means no pesticides, fungicides or antibiotics and GMO free.




There she is - the elusive Leucine !
 
Now, I will say the flavour is neutral and the powders consistency is kinda gritty. Let’s avoid you purchasing thinking its smooth, shake it up, I've SYKED you out,  you lurk outside my bedroom window holding me liable for a refund no siree.  Whack a couple of scoops in a blender and you should avoid a tongue on chalkboard tang. Also throw in 1 C almond milk, 1/2 banana, 1 t natural vanilla, 1 t cinnamon, 1/2 C frozen mixed berries, 2 T ground flax seed, ice and water for a decent smoothie.

Good for anyone with gastrointestinal sensitivities to milk, whey or other protein sources. Raw just means at any point from the time the plant has grown and dried and placed in the container it’s not subjected to heat that would break down the most heat sensitive nutrient in that given food source, this would typically be an enzyme or probiotic. This protein has true integrity, it's ALIVE you open the lid and the little enzyme soldiers are mostly still actively fist pumping. Even when labelled natural watch out for toxic chemicals in other protein brands. Seriously - go read the label of your protein supplement and accept what you're ingesting.




 
The highly anticipated breakfast balls recipe for you, many non vegan colleagues steal this recipe. Tops to disguise the taste of spirulina, play with the amount of honey to desired sweetness. I keep these in packs of two in freezer as snacks on the go. BOOM

 

BREAKFAST BALLS
 
Ingredients
• 2T chia seeds
• 2T pepitas
• Juice of half a freshly squeezed orange
• Zest of orange (make sure it is organic)
• 1C raw almond flour
• 1/2t cinnamon
• 1/2C dessicated coconut (for rolling in)
• 2T melted coconut oil
• 1/2C almonds chopped
• 2 T spirulina
• 2 T cacao powder
• 1/4C raw honey
• 1/4C date paste (make by blending 4 dates with 4T water)
• 1/4C raisins -- chopped
• 1/4C cranberries -- chopped
• 1/2C medjool dates -- chopped
• Pinch himalayan sea salt


Method

Whisk chia with the orange juice and zest and set aside. Mix rest of ingredients in a bowl (except for ingredients for rolling the balls in) and mix thoroughly. Add the chia and orange mix and mix again. Work the mixture with your hands shaping into balls then roll in dessicated coconut to coat. Pop in freezer or fridge and allow to set before eating.

 
Wish me luck with the dragons...