Dear Samantha,
In regards to your article 10 Struggles of Women with Big Thighs I must say I disagree largely with a lot of your points, in fact felt so strongly I have responded below. To my readers, feel free to leave your comments via my facebook page or here on the blog as I am interested in the thoughts of the population.
Yes, they are often loose at the waist from going up a size to accommodate the thighs, but the thighs are the catchment preventing them from ever falling down. Perhaps you’re into baggy fireman pants. But yes, jean shopping absolutely sucks; denim with stretch is a must, and generally a high waisted fit is superior, as they taper at the waist instead of cropping wider at the hip.
3. ‘Just the act of wearing shorts in general is terrifying’
It’s not terrifying; it’s fabulous to wear shorts with big thighs. I hope you are trying to communicate that shorts are difficult to purchase for the thick lower half/ small waist girls, but surely a few unconfident women just threw another negative log into their fire. The real problem here is fashion labels and society are constantly catering for and promoting unrealistic ideals. Magazines and advertorials generally feature models instead of looking at how most women are truly built and making clothing that accommodates them. If we refer to the renaissance in museums all over the world, there is a full spectrum of how women are built.
4. 'A thigh gap was never in the cards for you '
We should NOT be promoting the thigh gap as a benchmark for women. Nor am I suggesting we promote the thigh chafe as a benchmark. In reality a thigh gap can be more about the angle that your pelvis tilts than how big your thighs are. Sure, occasionally they chafe, you could always try body glide: it’s not some raunchy lubricant; it’s an anti-chafe product providing non-greasy protection against skin problems caused by rubbing.
5. I agree: running can literally be irritating.
I choose to take fewer steps at a higher intensity. Up a hill, for example. No exercise is terribly comfortable, but it still has to be done. Expect it or prevent it and get on with it.
6. ‘When a guy has smaller thighs than you (which is pretty standard) you immediately want to curl up in a ball’
This is laughable - reality is the complete opposite he's the one that wants to curl up in a ball. It’s absolutely a compliment to your distinctiveness and hard work. If any man has a problem with them, pop his weasly head (no jacked dude will have an issue with your thighs; he’ll be jealous) between your legs, gently squeeze his neck until his cheeks turn blue and his eyeballs start to rupture blood vessels … sorry, I got carried away there. I digress; the point I’m trying to make is that women often care far more about their bodies than men do. Ultimately, confidence is more attractive than thigh gaps or lack thereof. Rock whatever thighs you have with a smile and leave the conversation with smaller thigh boy who ironically now has self esteem issues of his own, knowing you’re a BAMF (sorry boys, I’m generalising greatly here. Equality at its best, I realise).
7. “Even if the rest of your body is tiny and fit, exposing your bare thighs to the world is your nightmare”
I could not disagree with this more! Rock your bikini bottoms and your curves in them, and perhaps pop a sarong around if you’re more comfortable. Hold your head higher and your shoulders back a little more and remember that you’re a magnet to every thought you think. We as women should be proud of our bodies – that means all parts of it. Instead of listing the things we don't like, focus on the things we do and how wonderful it is to be a woman. It is never about how much I weigh, it’s always about how I feel; I will never search for validation on a set of scales. Scales cannot remind me of how infectious my smile is, how purposeful my life is or how great my perseverance is when tested. I believe it is your responsibility as a journalist delivering lifestyle/ healthy living/ fitness related articles via the juggernaut that is the Huffington Post to be a more positive force!
I’m the poster girl for the former, but BOTH versions are beautiful! Women experience an average of 13 negative thoughts about their body each day, while 97% of women admit to having at least one “I hate my body” moment each day. That is appalling. Telling you to “love your body” is about as helpful as placing an opened packet of Tim Tams in front of you after a break up. It’s time to muzzle your inner mean girl by combating those thoughts and topping up with a positive one. It’s proven that positive thoughts are waaaay more powerful than negative, so keep an eye on that self esteem invoice making sure you go to sleep having paid the days bill for your thoughts!
If combating thoughts is proving difficult, you should start to seriously research how to rewire your brain! Our self-image is something we form while we’re growing up. It’s unconsciously formed from our achievements and failures, our embarrassments, our victories and the way others have related to us-especially in early childhood. Our behaviour, feelings and our abilities are always consistent with this self-image. They’re not always valid thoughts just programmed from birth and now so ingrained they’re automatic. Newsflash: these thoughts aren’t "the truth”; they’re handed down through generations from someone who put them there a long time ago. They’re nothing more than specific neural patterns in your brain. Neurological research shows 95-99 % of all your behaviour is automatic. This is why we set goals but don't reach them. Setting them is a function of the conscious mind, whereas reaching them is a function of the subconscious mind. The subconscious mind is in the driving seat. Not the conscious mind. The point I'm making is if you want to, you can reroute your entire existence.
9. 'When will thighs have their moment?'
WHENEVER YOU ALLOW THEM! My thighs are currently having their moment. All my thick friends thighs have been having their moment; every damn day! This gorgeous girl below Nicole Mejia a model and fitness personality out of Miami, known for her natural curves and motivating perspective, has been inspiring women all over the world to accept and better themselves in a natural and holistic way. Nicole and her Fit and Thick movement are currently on a nationwide tour to bring the message to the women of America. Nicole also started the hashtag #thickthighappreciationday which I believe is on October 21.
Perhaps you'll join the movement, we need more recruits if we're going to get this positivity message through to a lot of ladies.
Image Martin Murillo |
Sincerely,
Shari Onley
A woman with strong, thick thighs who loves every inch of them; whether they're toned or soft, pale or tanned, covered or uncovered whatever they look like I LOVE THEM.
PS I briefly checked your website, some of your content is cool and light hearted so don't take this too harshly, I think you're alright ;)
PS I briefly checked your website, some of your content is cool and light hearted so don't take this too harshly, I think you're alright ;)
'Don't be delicate - be vast and luminous'
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