ACL Injury Pt 1 - Black Friday in Chicago

It was Black Friday alright. I was warming up on field at Sears Centre Arena at Hoffman Estates, Illinois. After the team warm ups our 2 Defensive Ends and I huddled with Coach Ryan to get some reps in. I was starting Middle Linebacker, subbed often as a Wide Receiver on goal line and back up Centre. Coach John came over and gave word kick off time was running slightly behind, we could either head back to the change room and keep warm or stay on field. I wanted reps, I wasn't playing continually both ways so endurance wasn't a concern tonight. We began running through a few swim techniques, mine were progressing to vicious and fast. In the weeks leading up Id been focusing on keeping the jab short and sharp, not opening up my armpit leaving a gigantic target to block. On the third or fourth rep my elbow swung too close to Coach's temple and BAM. I'd jammed him with a fierce blow, dark red blood oozed from a deep eyebrow gash. He swore and asked me to find his glasses which were somewhere smashed on the field. I called the team medic who took Coach back to the change room to get temporarily repaired. After the initial shock at all the blood he was cool but I felt terrible, the game hadn't even started. 

Coach Ryan headed straight to Hospital post game for stitches

The defensive players were introduced onto the field, a short piece we had filmed earlier that day was shown before individual field entrances. My face flashed on the big screen and I aggressively said 'This is Shari Onley THE Aussie Assassin and YOUR middle linebacker! Seattle - I flew all the way from Sydney to Chicago just to bust your ass!! I DARE you to run up the middle tonight!' The footage was quality, when I film those pieces I think of something that will fire the crowd up. You only need to say the word CHICAGO in front of a home crowd and they go nuts, loyalty at its finest, I knew it would be all time. But the audio wasn't jacked up enough. Here I am on screen beating chest, finger pointing into camera, mute warrior cry, blah blah, whatever... it was futile, no one could hear a word of what I said. Such a let down. Still I did my standard bust out through smoke onto the field launched onto the sideline railing stood like a possessed freak and commanded the crowd to make some noise. And they did. They cheered and snapped away on their phones. I had half my face painted Dia de Muertos 'day of the dead' style, a few people gasped, I was scary enough without my face painted but we were ready to put on a show tonight. One of the Bliss Rookies Jori Parys, also a professional singer, sung the Anthem. Again, the audio wasn't loud enough, ugggh it sounded like it wasn't even on! Jesus christ who was running this shit show? The patriotic crowd joined in half way through the anthem to save a trickle of embarrassment. Audio dude you'll be Donald Trumped by now. 

Is #10 Kim Perez looking at my face paint? Little did she know she would be playing middle linebacker tonight

After only a few series of the game, a couple of minutes in I was in pursuit of a Seattle player who had the ball thrown to her. She layed out to catch the ball, fumbled (which I couldn't see from my position behind her) and as I came down to tackle her I felt my knee shift. I experienced more of a dislodgement of the knee cap rather than a pop, some brief numbness then relatively severe pain. Dammmmm that initial feeling of intense pain never got any easier, a rush of so many disappointing emotions, reminded me of my old netball days when we'd sprain ligaments in our ankle every other week. Most netballers knees and ankles were shot from the sudden stop start of the game. LFL Doctor and Chicago medics Scott & Nick from The Wellness Source came on field and after a few tests helped me hop off. As I got to my feet I thought perhaps it wasn't as bad as what was initially felt. I vaguely remember the announcer saying my name and the crowd clapping me off, it's all a blur. Back in the change room we did a series of tests, our trainers said it didn't seem to be the ACL or MCL. Thanks the lord. I tried walking every step becoming more painful with sharp twinges stopping me. I sat on the edge of the change table as tears welled up in my eyes. I took off my gloves, and PPE gear and ferociously launched them across the change room. My shoulder pads were miked up again that game, the audio recorded is normally passionate F bomb after F bomb at the opposition, tonight it was at myself. Together with game day adrenaline I was angry, angry at myself, angry at my knee, angry at how early in the game it was, angry at this god for saken situation I was in on Friday 13th.

Not a collision impact, more rotational

Team mates #15 Heather 'Rockstar' Furr and #10 Kimbo 'Slice' Perez look on

Hearing the crowd roar outside the only thing I could wonder was whats the score.... I asked our trainer what the score was, how would he know Shari he's been looking after your angry ass. 'Get me back out there.'  'But theres only 4 minutes to go in the half by the time we ...' 'I DONT CARE GET ME OUT THERE.' 

A friend who took this picture would later jokingly post on Facebook 'Shari Onley thrown out of game for fighting. Complete bullshit. You knock a girl out cold for 7 minutes with one punch, not only should you be able to stay in the game you should get a trophy. #TalkShitGetHit'

With the help of crutches we hobbled back to the end zone, I waited for the play to stop and crept back onto the field to get into the bench. I gave my best gratitude smile to the Chicago crowd as they clapped and yelled words of encouragement to #11. All I could focus on was the game. Wheres the momentum, what did I miss, does Kim know her assignments in my position, who's doing what. I sat in the bench for the rest of the game. Crowds are always supportive at our games. Most of them realize the game has changed from the days of Lingerie football tiny petite framed models prancing around. They know and appreciate  what we go through to actually take that field.  My team mates stopped by wondering if Im okay. Focus off me I'm fine, back onto the game, high fives, keep working my sisters, #19 Telly gets sent off for unsportsmanlike conduct for a series. Torn between yelling at the girls, getting the crowd fired up, yelling at the ref 'get Seattles #7 off she's covered in blood Roger, open your fucking eyes' God damn home game referees, why did we always feel like we were playing away with the amount of penalties they gave us? Roger...what the fuck... ROGER!!!? Coach Hac was rubbing off on me. Id always had a bit of Hac in me, relatively patient until its something Im passionate about the STEP THE HELL OUT MY WAY. It's why he'd imported you from Down Under, part of the reason you were 'Bliss Material'. 

Post game I hobbled up to the meet and greet table, I was the first to arrive to the line of fans wanting autographs and pictures taken. I was never first to arrive. I was always last. I'd put on deodorant, go to the bathroom, powder my nose, the fans shouldn't have to witness me without that. #1 Allie Alberts my roommate, my sister, grabbed the seat next to me #18 Hallie Jiskra our other import from Green Bay sat next to her. Good I needed them, we needed each other after that ridiculous draw.  I love the fans and appreciate them so much, anyone who reads my social media knows I actively post to keep everyone up to date but that night I just went through the motions. Brain numb, icy cold knee exterior, burning hot inside. Wondering, contemplating what would come of this pain.

Thank you David for being such a loyal supporter of myself and the Bliss 

#5 Deena Fagiano and #13 ChrisDell 'The Ferrari' Harris drove me to the Bliss after party. Despite feeling like collapsing after a home game we try to drop in briefly and say hi to everyone. Except this time I didn't deserve rest, I wasn't tired I had played a couple of minutes, nothing compared to my teammates. Corey Kelly was waiting at the bar, he was my all round go to guy in Chicago. A jacked vegan bodybuilder and  yoga guru who broke down all stereotypes about vegans. He owned/ directed SkyBalance Fitness and SkyBalance Med Spa  was Practice Manager and co owner at Skypoint Medical Practice and had set up TriBalance Yoga Centre. His facilities had looked after all my treatment in Chicago, maintenance and game week massage, chiro, facials, microderm, keratin hair treatments, they even did a vampire facial on me, which I loved. Do not believe the hype around Kim Kardashians dramatic performance when she had one on her reality show! Corey was a practitioner who valued the mind body connection, I felt very comfortable around him, he exuded a positive aura for his holistic approach. We shared a similar mindset to health on so many levels. He ordered me a beer, propped me up on a stool and cradled my knee, examined it and told me he'd book ultrasounds and MRI scans first thing tomorrow. Given his knowledge and expertise I felt relieved knowing he would look after it for me. 

Everyone kept asking if I was using new makeup, it was my Sky Balance glow

After our LA game the tables were turned.  What goes around comes around.  Deena had unknowingly mixed some medication and together with post game low blood sugar levels she suffered a huge crash spending until sunrise throwing her guts up. We monitored Deena at #20 Yashi 'The Incredible' Rice's house (RnB star and sister of former NFL star and pro bowler Simeon Rice)  while she hugged the toilet bowl for what seemed like an eternity. I know if I don't eat sugar immediately post game, regardless of how I feel at that moment, guaranteed I get pale, light headed and queazy. Meanwhile ChrisDell had taken an absolute bashing on the run game and was suffering serious knee pain. This woman is an absolute warrior who will keep marching no matter what. But this night getting into Yashi's building through revolving doors was like a scene out of a nursing home. Her in one section me in another slowly inching the door around so she could shuffle and slide her way in. She was in so much pain wincing with any movement. Pain killers and ice were on order once we got upstairs and she moaned her way to sleep while her Mum watched carefully. This is the real LFL people. 

On the drive home Deena and I stopped for ice cream, the 7 Eleven cashier asked if we were cheerleaders for the Chicago Bears since we were in Chicago colours. Really? These massive tree trunk legs did a triple backward air somersault Deena was supposed to catch me but her jacked biceps failed and I landed wrong, THAT Mr 7 Eleven cashier , is why I, this beast of a woman who just bought out your ice-cream and candy section, is on crutches. I don't understand when people say they had a splurge on chocolate if they ate one row of squares. On the odd occasion I do I splurge I do so for myself and half of Africa. Two bags of extra salty chips, 2 ice creams, 2 candy bars, 2 pastries, a bag of lollies and a newborn child. Getting jacked naturally is soooo simple. Don't skip meals, instead ADD them. When you think you've eaten enough, eat more just to be sure. I'm not perfect but this blog is my reality, I've always been honest and will continue to keep it real. If I didn't work out like a crazy woman I could be much bigger. 

My swole sister Deena. We eat, a lot and lift heavy things often. It was a simple mathematical equation.

Aside from a few anti inflammatories after the game I was drug free. I couldn't sleep, layed in bed sobbing from the pain listening to the Deena express from the engine room. After she woke she gave me 4 tylenol, helped slightly with the situation, enough to get into the car and back home. Doc called in a script of Vicoprofen and anti inflams. The vicoprofen worked a gem, first time was a double dose which made me slightly euphoric and giddy. I kept them up on Drs orders every 4-6 hours that day. Still hobbling about on crutches knowing I wouldn't get to have the MRI till Monday. Dr said normally MRI's would be performed after swelling had reduced but athletes cases are a little different. 

So You Want to be an LFL Player?

I’ve been through a 2 year lead up and one season playing predominantly as a tight end for NSW Surge - the inaugural 2014 LFL Australia Legends Cup Champions. Has a nice ring to it huh? Yea well it didnt come easy, before you read any further just know this is not a positive 'yes everybody can do it, come along and try out' blog. I am by no means a veteran of the sport but I've learnt alot along my journey, I’m here to keep it real. I cannot vouch for how other franchises run their operations but at NSW Surge there are several expectations which might give you some insight before you trial.

Legends Football League has been highly successful in its first Australian season, exceeding projected attendance at NIB Stadium, Centrebet Stadium, AAMI Park and Skilled Park. Loads of exciting things in the pipeline for 2015 season, the possible addition of 2 new teams (total of 6 nationally) the season commencing as early as October and possibly, due to consumer demand, games airing live with a free to air network.  Boomshakalaka. 

TRIALS

The open trials date will be set very soon for March. It is likely (however not certain) you will be tested on L test, T test, 40yard dash and standing long jump. If you don’t know what they are you better learn quick smart ,you have around 6 weeks to prepare. You will run various football drills involving tackling, hitting, blocking, catching and passing so warm up those hands, every position on the field needs to be able to catch. Your performance will be judged from every angle just like any other sport you will be photographed and scrutinised on film. There is no more important key to being coachable than actually listening to the directions being given to you. You don’t have to be a high-motor girl. But you must be ready to react when given an assignment. Throw yourself into that assignment until it is 100% complete. For the love of god, if you plan on laughing or being too concerned with how you look during the trial just leave, go home now before one of the Surge veterans take your head off in a drill. Do not waste our time.

 

STRENGTH & CONDITIONING

You should stop training for looks immediately and start train for functionality. This is a speed sport, explosive starts, decelerate, change direction and accelerate again quickly whilst controlling your body and minimizing reduction in speed – add catching the football, evading your opponent and advancing the ball. If you are not already agile, coordinated and able to move laterally (hip mobility anyone?) you have 6 weeks. Go.   

 

Eliminate distance running (fist pump!) it reduces explosiveness which compromises your speed and is not conducive to the sport, we generally move in short bursts of 10 yards or less before changing direction, accelerating or decelerating. Slow aerobic activity is not your friend. If it's conditioning you're concerned about there are other methods to get in shape without reducing your explosiveness. If you are successful in this sport you will also be pressed for time and learn to maximise training very effectively - every minute counts.

 

More muscle! We all know why we should strength train, surely you've read my experiment NSW are the powerhouse of LFL Australia, we bear muscle and more importantly we know how to use it. Not bicep curl then bosu ball then treadmill strength, raw mongrel grit teeth functional power to apply on the field. We eat big, get huge and strong before season then taper knowing that during season we maintain or slightly lose strength. Stack it on ladies, especially if you’re vying for one of the big dogs spots on the line.  We are scouting for some new german shephard material.

 

At various points during pre season coaching staff will test your 1 RM bench and squat and max pronated pull ups. Speed and strength programs are maintained individually, although many athletes opt to schedule theirs as a unit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

EXPECTATIONS

If you’re going to prioritise another sport over LFL (Crossfit, rugby union, netball, whatever) you may not make the playing squad. Dedication and commitment to this sport means you will forfeit late Saturday nights, birthdays, weddings, social functions and so on. If you’re a party girl do not pass go, do not collect $200 exit this blog immediately and slap yourself for not watching this . If there is no internal passion for the sport, there won’t be the level of commitment necessary to succeed.

 

If you’re coming from an individual sport start thinking differently. This sport is like no other. The Surge is tight, real tight. Those who were in it for themselves or were anything but a positive influence on the unit exited some time ago. There is no sport that is more reliant on the girl next to you. The Surge is not a team with infighting so if you’re bitchy, later gator. Much like a job application you can have all the athletic qualifications in the galaxy but if you don’t fit the team dynamic you may luck out.

 

TRAINING SQUAD

If you are selected in the training squad last season our practice began with 3 hrs of fundamentals every week Surge Sunday it's like church you look forward to it all week. NSW Surge have a mission statement you will learn, upon entering the team you are expected to uphold that at all times. We run with military precision within the framework we are given and the player beside you sure as hell expects you’re contributing to the team to the best of your ability. A committed athlete doesn’t have to be repeatedly told what to do, she is the one telling and showing others what to do. Greatness is not thrust upon you. Athletics are not video games where you can power up by hitting the right button. A committed athlete knows that reaching her goal can be a journey, and she must be steadfast in that journey.

 

Anytime that you’re not training you will be learning the passing tree and religiously watching game film of LFL US or our previous season. Add to that a playbook you will go to sleep reading each night which will be altered at various times. Soon football practice will be twice a week, we've trained in many different locations across the Sydney area.

 

You may play a flag match against an experienced mens team, running up against giants  3 times your size. David meets Goliath – you’ve seen the footage, nothing intimidates the Surge and more importantly we never say die. You will attend mini camp and be flogged within an inch of your life, after which there will be further cuts to the team. You'll make friends, they'll disappear, the numbers dwindle only the resilient remain.

 

Coming into season practice will eventually ramp up to 3 sessions per week. Up to 8 weeks before season you will start hitting in training pads and helmets, which many of us wear during speed and agility sessions so they became second skin. 

 

CONTRACTS

If you are contracted during game week a playing roster of 14 athletes will be announced, if you do not make the playing roster you will not suit up or travel to away games. This will hurt, you've worked hard to get to this point but you gotta keep working. Don’t blame others for the decision, go get to work and hustle on your weak points. Don’t come to practice with your shoulders down sulking, we are here for the goal of the team and often that means putting aside your personal goals for whats best for the unit. How you act and react affects you and those around you. Committed athletes surround themselves with like-minded individuals. The commitment you have can help inspire another athlete and vice versa. Do not allow any excuses to enter your mind. The minute you do, weakness will soon follow. It’s easy to give up. It’s hard to never quit.

 

Promotional duties juice up before season, most are very rewarding, some at rather inopportune times or when you least feel like doing it. You may have to take leave from work to attend some duties. You will be marked on attendance for practice and promo activities if you do not reach the minimum requirement you will be released from the team. Remember, players can be released at any time.

 

 

That uniform goes on for game day and media promotions, that's it. Outside of games it is a typical football environment, training in mud, rain, slop, covered in bruises aching and sore constantly. One of the hardest parts is managing your football/ strength/ agility sessions with niggling injuries. If you are a princess in any sense of the word goodbye, this game is not for you. You will get the piss knocked out of you repeatedly, you must love contact and thrive on the physicality of being tackled or tackling with the intention of burying heads in the grass. You will be expected to bring the pain every session against your team, not with the intention of hurting them but to better them as footballers. You must have a kill switch that flicks on/off on comand. The ol saying goes 'It ain’t about how hard you can hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward.' There is so much more I could say but the Surge special sauce is what makes us Champions, only those who take part till the very, very end can truly experience the taste.

  

REWARDS

You will develop an appreciation for one of the most majestic games ever created with access to some of the best coaching staff in Australia who will hone skills you never knew you had. Be part of a rarity in womens sports, an international league that is actually growing.

 

Your fitness will be taken to another level if you follow the programming, we will take you to places you’ve never been before. Persistence pays off, dedication to movement patterns for your position will become religious.

 

You will become part of the Surge family, as wide as we are tall overflowing with professionals from fine tuning our engines to well known brands who clothe us or protect our teeth. The Surge support crew spreads far across this sunburnt country and the globe. I've recently shipped my supporters tees to Brussells Germany, Phoenix Arizona, Tokyo Japan and Manchester UK. We are nothing without the wider Surge family.

 

 

 

Playing against or alongside veterans of the game you have watched on TV from LFL US is a humbling, incredibly enriching life journey – you will learn so much from these figures, from their experience, dedication and guidance. Experience flying across this beautiful country playing in the best stadiums in front of crowds of thousands of screaming fans.

 

 

 

 

The deepest sense of team comradery once you hit the battle field, one like you’ve felt in no other team sport. You will be surrounded by a group of the most inspiring, hard working, resilient warriors who will change your life. The Surge athletes all have this healthy inner confidence, a triumphant glow, that spills onto the field with their unity, into their everyday lives and those around them, that is why we're the champions. The women are in fact 'A League of Their Own.'

 

 

So I leave you with this question – what is motivating you to play LFL? If it’s for fame and your name in lights you will be embarrassed. If it’s for the love of football and you’re ready to dedicate close to every waking moment for the next 7 months of your life to defending the championship title, see you at the trials. Give it everything you’ve got, you’re competing against superwomen who have already trained for 2 years for their spot. Coaches won't expect you’re at the same skill level but they need to see your potential. I wish you the best of luck. Remember one last thing, never let anyone tell you you can't do anything, never, ever give up.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Skinny Tea Myth Busting

There is this all natural diet tea, some folk have lost up to 20kgs on it. Together with drastic weight loss there were epic side effects reported and a case of hospitalisation. Skinny Me Teas ''colon cleanse'' product, contains the laxative senna. In case you’re wondering I did not review the product. I take a lot of requests from readers but I will not spend more time on the dunny than I have to naturally. If you're not constipated and take laxatives, together with your ring hole you will loose electrolytes, fluid, other essential nutrients plus the food you just ate. 









**Ring ring** "Errmaaargerd Becky I just blew the bowl out again and the scales are down this product really works! I also blew a hole in my pantyhose and undies and the dry cleaners refused to clean my skirt but it really works! Oops gotta run that way again, doll ciao ! "

 

No you imbecile. You lost fluid and emptied your intestines which equals weight, unless you plan on never eating again the next morsel you put in your gob will be flippin you the bird from the monitor on your scale. You did absolutely sweet FA to your body fat and are busting your metabolic capacity, slap yourself in the forehead immediately for being a complete and utter sucker. Many moons ago I used laxatives. Upon the advice of a slightly older, thinner friend of mine who was far more advanced in the world of purging and eating disorders than I ever would be. She must've been onto something. At a young impressionable age even those who may turn out to be very health conscious can be mislead down the wrong path. Yes I slapped my forehead just now.

 

  

 

Instagram actually deactivated SkinnyMeTea's account saying "Instagram is a place where people can share their lives with others through photographs, it does not condone the promotion or glorification of self-harm." The scary part is they had over 200K followers without the obligatory boobs, ass, and duck lip photos. My guess is their 'before and after' Images were categorised as 'glorification of self harm'. 

Read more on here http://www.urbansociety.com.au/news-feed/skinnymetea-shut-down-by-instagram/#.UiQ_w9I3AsI

 

The chief executive of eating disorder support group the Butterfly Foundation, Christine Morgan, said she was ''horrified'' by the program and the companies ''blatant disregard'' for the minds of young people. ''It's buying into this negative body image, which is a scourge amongst young people … that they won't be worthwhile or successful if they are not this idealised 'thin' body shape,'' Ms Morgan said. Jessica Maclennan, 19, bought the tea after seeing the extreme before and after photos online and lasted six days on the program before having to stop. Only six days on the shitta darl? Gees you did alright if you ask me. We are constantly living and creating ideals that everybody struggles to obtain, that no one can actually become as far as physical appearance and definitions of beauty and valour, they’re all illusions.  

 



Jennifer Lawrence's magazine cover - I'd take the untouched her (left) any day

 

 

The Australian online company formed last year says it promotes "positive body image amongst people of all ages, shapes and sizes". Stop. Right. There. Who decides what is considered positive body image? What is positive to me may not be to you and vice versa. To me, Annie Thorisdottir promotes positive body image, work horse, lives and breathes her sport, eats a typical balanced diet,  no particular regime, has tried paleo which did not give her enough energy to perform. Humble, works hard, loves her family, educates others, that to me is positive. And I am not a biased crossfitter, I'm not even a crossfitter. These tea suckers probably would not view Annie that way, enter ye old stereotype of muscular women. Am I stereotyping the tea suckers? Perhaps. I used to be one of them, uneducated, unaware sheep,  not concerned what long term damage I was doing to my body for short term gain for a formal or a dancing concert.

Oh Annie

Enter the realm of dancers, there is a huge emphasis on being very lean and maintaining a high work schedule. I have vivid memory of  studying for my dance exams, performing the jeté round and round and round the studio with the principal of the dance school stalking behind spanking my panty hosed behind with a ruler. Each leap that was not technically sound equalled a sharp whack in precisely the same spot. If an unlucky angle her metal section would knick. Was it necessary discipline in my craft? Perhaps. Would I have passed my exams without physical abuse? I don't know I'm not Marty Mc Fly. Mother, it will be easier if you don't resist when Department of Children's Services arrive.  

 

 

This is hilarious!
Scary Movie 5 [Movie Scene] Black Swan



 

If you take one thing from this post it's this. Next time you hear anyone bragging about sudden weight loss through some fad diet, pill, tea, magical hubbly bubbly not only do you owe it to yourself if you have a fully functioning prefrontal cortex, to ask more questions, you owe it to your children and your childrens children! We are the revolution people! Be sceptical, don't be a moron, open pandoras box. How much weight was lost? Using what method? Is it a lifestyle change or a diet? Have the subjects kept the weight off? Do they have enough control over their bowells to be in public, nappie free? You might find the same sheep are unrealistically wanting to drop dress sizes before an event in 1 weeks time. If you have not already made changes to your body good luck. You cannot treat your rig like a math assignment and cram a few days before the test to maybe fluke a pass mark. Your body composition will be the same after 1 week of toilet violation, lemon shitox diet, whatever the hell is on the market. Collectively if we start challenging this nonsense, society as a whole might be one iota more informed than what it is now. The tea sucker might think twice before bragging to Becky, realise others actually care about their bodies and in comparison to them she is literally a shitty human being. If you have high school aged children and you haven't already had a discussion about laxatives and understanding the measures some young girls are using to drop weight, please have it around your families dinner table tonight. Well perhaps after you've enjoyed your meal.

 

 

Lastly thanks for reading my bloggious maximus and the crap load of positive feedback sent on my last post. I am thoroughly enjoying writing, it's proving almost therapeutic sharing a snippet of the weird and wonderful things that have happened in my life.   

Females and the Steroids Taboo

Recently I was asked if I thought Michelle Bridges was on the gear - steroids, artificial enhancers, peptides, whatever- because of her square jaw. Far out it’s a tough crowd! Don’t wig out but here’s an idea, perhaps she has put in consistent hard work for years to look the way she does, square jaw and all.



 Crossfit kicker of ass and my girl crush
Annie Thorrisdottir

I have a decent sized gob which is habitually filled with food. What's more I get a great sense of accomplishment moving heavy iron objects repeatedly, along with other demanding activities I am vigorous 6 days a week, some days twice. Together with consistent hard work and a splash of dads genetics I can get pretty jacked. I've been strength training on and off for 7 years, aside from a short stint posing as a house wife (falling in love is not recommended, be selfish in your quest or partner with one who propels you to greatness). Prior to that as a teenager I was not so muscular. I actually wanted to be thin, model like thin, scary thin. I wanted to be what society shoved in my face via gossip magazines and celebrities. At that time in my life I was unmistakably delusional but don’t fret! I came to my senses.

 

 Childhood consistency, flexing calves on ballet point creates thickness 

 

 

To the masses - wake up and smell the coffee.... lifting weights does not equal a bulky/man like physique! Your body responds to lifting by breaking down your muscle tissue and building you back up leaner and stronger. Lifting gives your body definition, tone and lowers body fat. Pretty certain that’s every normal females goal, ever.  Now listen carefully to my revelation; if I reduce my fat burning efforts through injury or otherwise and maintain my diet my ‘bulkiness’ increases. The level of fat on top of my existing muscle expands if I don’t burn it off. That ladies and gentleman is what can create my bulk. Don’t say I never teach you anything. As I sit here and blog it literally brings a smile to my face to think about waking at 4.15am tomorrow and front/ back squatting some heavy ass weight. In my current program no bulgarian split lunges, no glute bridges or kickbacks, no holding in farts to create my ass. MOAR SQUATZ. Look how much fun we have lifting!

 

 

 Photoshopped or artificial on the left? Stereotyping yet...

Stereotypes are a sad part of life. I try not to use them but unfortunately it still happens. Hell there are odd occasions when I've caught a glimpse of myself mid set and thought – you are jacked as a MF! I often say ‘I just want to tone my arms’. That's a lie. I have never said that. My body is a by product of the way I train, I don’t train to create a particular physique. Alas no, I have never taken anabolic (banned substances) supplementation, nor will I ever. Anyone who knows me knows I would never put that shit in my body, ever, and my test results would prove that. The basis of the organisation I founded would be fraudulent. I advocate to thousands of people to lead an active healthy lifestyle eating as much pure food from the earth as you can – this would all become null and void. I would lose sponsorships. Professional athletes and their associated clubs would no longer work with my organisation. I would be the worlds biggest hypocrite! You get the point, I have far too much at stake and too many brain cells to do something so dumb. My brother Aaron is a natural bodybuilder (let’s save the associations definition of ‘natural’ bodybuilding for another blog) and powerlifter. Has he ever taken steroids or similar banned substances? No. Will he ever? I’d like to say a firm no. If he did I would beat the foolery out of him (at least attempt to, he’s much bigger & stronger than me). The ethics of his programming business ‘Natural Physique Sciences’ would be compromised, and his belief system would be an absolute joke.

 

 

 Traps how I roll

My brother and I share many things in common, one is being stereotyped into using banned substances. This one always makes me laugh, I used to get offended but no longer waste my energy on peoples ignorance. In the world we live in, we can not control how people treat us, only how we let their treatment affect us. Marianne Williamson said it beautifully ‘There is a feeling of inner peace that comes from total relinquishment of judgment. We don’t feel the need to change others and we don’t feel the need to be different than we are. We can see, for whatever reason, the total beauty of another person, and we feel that they can see the beauty in us as well’ oh hold up, she screwed the end part up. Aaron and I also share a high level of commitment and our work ethic is unsurpassed. This is why we look the way we do. This is why we succeed in reaching our goals in training and in life. Sadly for him he got mums legs, sorry pal. Do I know others who use steroids? Sure, anyone who mixes in my circles is bound to meet those types. Surely you’ve seen the PPP (puffy pimply patrol) in the gym who balloon rather suddenly. Other side effects include seasonal and erratic gym attendance with copious amounts of mirror watching. I wholeheartedly disagree with what they’re doing but who the hell am I to judge their choices and what they put into their bodies. Surely they’re not out for my approval (as I am not theirs) what they do has sweet FA to do with me. I don’t treat them any differently, they might be using to mask another whole realm of self confidence issues, who knows. My conclusion? The idea of getting big artificially, then stopping to somewhat lose those gains, seems like a vicious cycle. Don’t cut corners, gear your lifestyle toward getting big and strong and you will.

 

Did the streaker have a good pre season leading up to origin debut?

Late in 2012 I had various surgeries, some planned others not. Breast augmentation, double groin hernia, melanoma removed from leg, lymph nodes removed from groin blah blah blah you get it, I was all banged up. Couldn’t laugh let alone think about exercise. Mentally I handled that 3 month period of complete inactivity surprisingly well. It was only when I stepped back in the gym and saw the gains I’d lost it hit me like a tonne of bricks. I remember one of my first sessions back exploding into a sprint and a. not having the knee drive to propel forward b. shuffling to almost trip over my own two feet and c. being as uncoordinated as a baby giraffe. Sure I had a strong, thick looking pair of trunks but I was learning to walk again.

 

My first outing after surgery (don't mind Aaron, his prep wasn't the greatest)

 

My first public outing was to watch the kid bro compete. I’d shuffled my way into the auditorium of Castle Hill RSL on the arm of my Dad with a forcefield of bodies moving with us shielding my fresh wounds from being knocked. After what felt like a lifetime squeezing through crowds of hundreds of screaming people we get to our seats and there’s people sitting in them. Normal circumstances you respectfully show your tickets ask them to move and they do. But these young girls don’ t want to move and decide to give my mum some lip. My mum Gail is one classy lady. She doesn’t swear nor does she accept cursing around her, she's a bit stiff but I respect her for maintaining a standard and I refrain from swearing around her. She watches me play sport, while I'm trash talking on the field she calmly takes notes of every curse word from the sideline. Queen Beast the fearless warrior on the field gets the biggest hiding after the game from her mum. I digress! While in my head I’m giving the people in our seats ‘The Rock (move the hell on) Eye’ in reality I’m exhausted, dizzy, heating up and feel like I could cry and/ or pass out any second. Moral of the story do not attempt a bodybuilding comp within a week of surgery. The combo of stank broccoli farts, rank slap on tan and not being able to stick up for my mum meant it was a shitty, shitty day.

 

 

 

Cutting a long story medium, thanks to effective muscle memory by body transforms after rest periods quite well. After lifting consistently I made some incredible gains in only 6 weeks. It’s time like these a coach is separated from a trainer. I needed a stable supportive base to have a decent comeback. A number of my coaches label me ‘the perfectionist’ athlete. Positives? An incredibly strong work ethic, highly motivated, committed to my goals and want nothing more than to learn and improve. Negatives? Criticize myself for mistakes, hold extremely high demands on my performance, get frustrated easily after making mistakes and even after a successful result can analyse with negative self assessment. I had surgery complications throughout rehab and was riddled with condition after condition preventing me from an ideal full recovery. When it would be easy to give up one must power on. Victory is achieved through adversity, resilience creates champions not a perfect ride. It irks me when people get all down and out ‘I've torn a hammy I'm out for 6 weeks I'm so pissed off I can’t train’ go deal with it! Take your tales of woe to someone who cares, you still have 2 arms and legs quit complaining.